For my belated birthday getaway, Jason took me to Port Huron for an overnight stay. Although the drive to a destination can be enjoyable, I call BS on the journey being half the fun. We’re going on a two day vacation, and half of the fun is going to be in the 2 hours we spend in the car at the beginning? Talk about having some low expectations for the weekend.
The drive was fine, but I kept getting annoyed by other cars driving excessively fast and sometimes erratically. I found that I could ease my annoyance by imagining that everyone driving like an idiot needed to poop and was just urgently trying to make their way to a toilet. My anger slipped away, and I found myself rooting for the the dude weaving in and out of traffic. Exit up ahead, Mr. Chevy Impala. I hope you can make it to McDonald’s in time.
Our first stop in Port Huron was the Great Lakes Maritime Center, which is a dreamy spot for nerds like me. I have to admit to being a nerd, since the building doesn't really let you hide it.
Almost everyone there looked old enough to be my parent or grandparent, and they all seemed like regulars. I was jealous. When the sweet lady was on the PA system to give us statistics about the Canadian Coast Guard ship sailing by, I told Jason that’s what I want to do when I retire.
To be clear, I meant I wanted to be the person talking about all of the ships going by, not join the Canadian Coast Guard.
After I daydreamed about our golden days a little longer, we headed to Freighters for lunch. I had a burger that I thought I was going to have to unhinge my jaw to eat, even after I smashed it down as flat as I could. They had cloth napkins, which is always a signal that you are supposed to put the napkin on your lap. Since I was clearly going to need to wipe my mouth after every bite though, I opted to keep my napkin on the table.
I hate putting a napkin on my lap. Yes, it protects my clothes, but what about my face that everyone else has to see? If you want me to put a napkin on my lap, you better give me two so I also have one for my mouth. I really don’t know why this isn’t standard. We get multiple forks, why not multiple napkins? Someone dropped the ball on table setting etiquette.
We had a beautiful view during lunch, although it was slightly marred by two SUVs in the parking lot taking up 4 spaces. Why park like that??? Although maybe they skidded to a sudden stop because they had to hurry inside to make it to a toilet.
Jason: “It’s not always about toilets.”
Me: “You don’t know that.”
After we finished our lunch, we made our way to the hotel. It wasn’t fancy, but I felt like there was a low risk of bringing home bed bugs or being murdered, so it was a sufficient place to flop. During our check-in, Jason asked the front desk clerk where the nearest grocery store is located. Forget about shopping or museums, we want to know where we can go get some cereal and paper towel. She probably alerted the rest of the employees there that they had some real live ones checking in to Room 217.
We got settled into our room and then decided to go out and do some shopping. As we were driving, Jason suddenly asked me if I wanted an “actual pizza” for dinner that night. I still don’t know what he meant by that. As opposed to what? Imaginary pizza? A picture of pizza? Yeah, I don’t want to be a diva or anything, but an actual pizza for dinner would be pretty nice, thank you. We ended up ordering pizza back at the hotel room, a phone call that was made while we were watching a show about pizza. This is probably as close as I’ve ever come to making a Home Shopping Network purchase.
In the morning, we hit the hot tub for a bit before check-out, and then we went back to the Great Lakes Maritime Center. Jason suggested that we drive up to Lexington, since it was only about a half hour away, though in the opposite direction of where we needed to go home. It was definitely worth the detour though. We had lunch at The Windjammer and then went for a walk at Lexington State Harbor.
There were two sandy areas that had seagulls, and the bigger area also had two swans. I concocted a tale about how the swans invaded the main seagull beach, so some of the seagulls rebelled and started a new beach.
I like to think that one of the swans is named Brad, and the main rebel seagull is going around town and trying to sully Brad's name. I found this written in a local gas station bathroom.